How would you feel if in an arranged marriage?

9 Feb 08 Saturday

I was hired by another photographer whom I had met at the Wells Fargo event late last year. It was well worth my effort to go out of my way to introduce myself as I got to do this engagement gig in Newark in a restaurant called Afghan Alley.


I was amazed by the intensity in this bride-to-be's eyes. She was obviously nervous and I conversed with her to try to get her butterflies out. The family had separated the two from seeing each other before their engagement ceremony. I eventually discovered she was in an "arranged" marriage and had not even dated her future husband.



I wanted to ask more questions, like "had you met him? If not, had you seen pictures of him?" but I thought it wise to keep my mouth shut.



I asked when their wedding date was set- she did not know...

...on the other hand, when I walked next door and asked him the same question, he replied in July...hmmm, there seems to be a communication gap already? He tells me he is not nervous when asked, but he sat there quietly with fingers entwined appearing to strangle each other.

When she enters the room, he is obviously pleased with her appearance (and perhaps the package) while she does not even dare to make eye contact with him for at least the next 30-minutes. My images prove this. Her face reminds me of a scared deer in the way of an oncoming car. I could only feel her anxiety!


Then her mother-in-law steps in and presents the engagement ring! Even as he places the ring on her finger, she still does not look up into his eyes.


Proceeding the exchange of rings comes the family portraits. That is the groom's side of the family.


While the newly engaged couple sit there looking bored out of their minds- children jump off the stage. It didn't help when I asked them to leap off a few more times for the picture.

And then he views his phone to text message someone? I would have thought that to be rude if his fiancé!

The teenagers entertain the couple with a "tantalizing" dance.

The couple cuts the cake just as if they were getting married!

I saw this photograph at the back of the restaurant. I have seen this image a dozen times from the National Geographic, of this Afghan woman with these soul-piercing green eyes. I could only hope that one day a photograph I take will become of significant value too.